Ironically, our brain doesn't let us forget it despite our ignorance. The consequences of our ignorance is not confined to our brain either; it's manifested in any number of ways in our physical being, the physical being of others, and the general existence around us.
I, recently, shared with my wife that there is a fundamental part of my being that is, simply, dissatisfied. I don't know what that part is or why I feel that way.
I can, clearly, recall extended periods of time in my life where I did not feel this way. I've changed my diet, sleeping schedule, work hours, etc... and seen a variety of improvements in my physiological and mental health, but no matter what I do this sense of dissatisfaction haunts me at it's leisure.
Because of this experience, and those I know who share it, I've chosen to publicize my personal exploration of why I feel this way in hopes that I can identify the reason and obtain complete and permanent satisfaction. I understand that some may believe I'm assuming I'm deserving of complete and permanent satisfaction, to which I would respond by asking "What would lead you to believe we aren't?" But please don't mistake that for an unwillingness to acknowledge that it may be achievable nor do I, necessarily, believe it is the "point of life", per say.
I have one request of my readers though; it is that you would know that this document is intended to be in accordance with reality (meaning my questions and answers should be verifiably true - fact not opinion). So, should you notice that something that you can prove is false, believe is not entirely accurate or is poorly phrased: I welcome your comments so that I can respond and possibly revise this document to be completely true and unbiased in every way.
So without further ado:
To locate the origin of my persistent dissatisfaction; it would seem that starting with the reality of my existence is the most adequate starting place:
1. Why do I exist?
Because I am the product of something that proceeded me. Since this is true of everything before me, as well, then, it would seem, that there is no possibility, within my experience of reality, that I cannot be proceeded by something.
2. What do I exist for?
In the simplest form; for whatever that predecessor desires/d.
3. Who or what is this predecessor?
It seems to be metaphysical (in the strictest scientific definition of the word that would mean it's simply in a space we cannot fully comprehend or experience, at least, in our present human form). As the product of this creator, we know that nothing could exist without it, therefore everything that exists pre-existed within it first, in some form. In other words, humans are cognoscente, so the creator, too, must possess some sort of cogniscience. Humans experience community, so it too must possess some form of community within itself. Etc...
4. Should I communicate with this creator? And does it want to communicate with me?
If the second question is true then we must communicate with it, or it with us, to know it's will. Which seems like a logical question and desire? Since we see that all beings must communicate mutually, that becomes evidence (not fact) that we are designed to communicate, mutually, with our creator as well. Therefore, if all we are, and could seek, is possessed by this creator and shared with us at it's discretion then we can conclude we should conscientiously (intentionally) communicate, and attempt to communicate, with our creator.
5. How do I communicate with this being?
Since we could not come into existence without this being, it seems that every part of our being is connected to, or in communication with, that creator. Meaning, also, that there is no separation from it without ceasing to exist. This evidence suggests that we are currently equipped to communicate with it by whatever way is native to us. This would include speaking, writing, singing or making melody, thought, physical demonstration, and presumably, possibly; more.
6. How will this being communicate with me?
Referring to the previous question, if our existence is completely integral with our creator then it's equally likely that it communicates to us by wielding any and every aspect of existence to do so (since we have not confirmed whether or not it exists in the form of a human or any other living creature that is capable of communicating in the common ways we are accustomed to). It may also be able to communicate in more ways if it is truly metaphysical in the loosest sense of the word. Again this could come in the form of communication through a physical person, but could extend to controlling reality itself in infinite ways (from our perspective).
7. How can I confirm that this being communicated with me?
Since there, appears, to be infinite ways this being can communicate with us it would seem that our being (maybe our brain?) must obtain faith as a result of any communications to act as evidence of that communication. Faith, according to Webster's, is a feeling of confidence in someone or something.
8. How does this relate to my being obtaining complete and permanent satisfaction?
If I should lack anything, I may be able to obtain it through the physical world without cognoscente (knowing or intentional) attempts to communicate with the creator. But if I cannot obtain it without cogniscience, as I feel I experience presently, this rationale reveals that I can obtain it if the creator wills it to me. Therefore I must seek and communicate with that creator to present my request to be satisfied (in any way whether it's mental, physiological, financial, etc...). To which it may, or may not, respond. Possibly with requests of it's own, which I must fulfill prior to obtaining that satisfaction (though that's speculation, not fact).
9. What do we know about this creator? For example, is it personable or pantheistic?
This question isn't, necessarily, required to answer my original question about why I feel dissatisfied. But in light of how the questions and answers have developed I think it add's value to this entry to explore it.
The conclusions above, if true, dictates that this creator is both personable and pantheistic. Everything in existence was created by it and cannot exist apart from it (typical pantheistic view). Yet it has also chosen to share this existence with us even as we're apart of it. And, interestingly, with what was given to me by this existence, I was made capable to willingly judge it as immeasurably gracious, to say the least. This is because of the many experiences I have that bring me satisfaction in the form of happiness, joy, chocolate, and more...
10. Am I satisfied now?
At the beginning of the writing of this article: no. At this very moment: yes.
I suppose that means I am in accordance with reality and have, in some way, sought and communicated with this creator, thus fulfilling it's own will, because I feel completely satisfied (in mind and body).
If I don't feel satisfied then this logical exploration dictates that I am not fulfilling the will of our creator. So to re-obtain it I must seek and fulfill it's will, first. Though it may choose to give to me freely and without requiring that of me (most certainly).
Are you satisfied?
If I may, now, pair this exploration with my personal opinion I'd like to indict you to consider that this creator may have, in fact, communicated with us in the form of a human during the end of the last century BC/BCE (I don't care what you call it, I just say both so as not to indicate a bias or concern of either).
- The Bible tells us that we were created.
- It says that our ancestors chose to ignore the will of the creator which introduced some sort of separation between humanity (possibly all of existence) and it's creator.
- The creator desired to redeem this incident because the cost to re-seam that separation was beyond what our ancestors obtained, or even could obtain. I don't know why the cost was so great though, but if it's true that separation from our creator means ceasing to exist then maybe it's because the creator knows that if we cease to exist we cannot pay the debt. Meaning if we don't heed the will of the creator, we cease to exist, and something that ceases to exist cannot redeem itself obviously. But why was a single act of disobedience resulting, ultimately, in ceasing to exist? See this article I wrote, in the end of it I elaborate on why a single act of disobedience results in ultimate death.
- So the creator became like a person and suffered, with us, until a moment where his own human death made it possible for him to fund the repair from his own resources (whatever they are).
- This act, somehow (frankly I don't care how, nor do I find it detrimental or necessary for my existence to know - if you do please explain why in a comment), redeemed the separation and brought humanity back to the place where it must choose, again, to heed to the will of the creator.
I bring this up because the books of the Bible have changed my life. And if you're reading this, it's possible you're dissatisfied in some part of your being. So, for me, the story of Jesus that is told in these books has enabled me to, more easily, obtain complete satisfaction. Which is followed by so much more, such as peace and joy, excitement and right-ness in my behavior.
I've discovered that there is valid, verifiable, historicity to these books, but that's not why I trust them. Rather, it's the impact they've had on my experience of reality. It's birthed and matured my trust in them and, ultimately, my desire to follow Jesus as he, the creator himself, demonstrated what life in communication with our creator looks like.
